The sky is falling...!

Ahh, Mondays… For those of us working stiffs, there are few days more horrifyingly dull. As I sat at my desk this morning, staring blankly between my computer screen and a poorly scrawled railroad map of St. Paul, Minnesota, I thought about all of the places I’d rather be, and of all the things I’d rather be doing. No matter how long the weekend lasts, it’s never long enough regardless of whether you sat on ass for two days straight or busted ass trying to complete the chores that had piled up over the course of the week as you sulked around the house because it wasn't quite 5:00 PM Friday. So, as I sat there lulling in and out of a working state of consciousness, my mind fell into its ADHD fueled auto-pilot hyperlinking stage: St. Paul is in Minnesota > Minnesota is cold > When it's cold it snows > When it snows I can go snowboarding. I thought I must have been hallucinating snow fall in anticipation of carving a path down the hillside through a fresh coat of virgin powder.

I was brought back from la-la land as one of the Airlite 9 (whom I will refer to as "Chicken Little") shouted from the adjacent cubicle concerning the falling primordial dust and asbestos that had been trapped in the overhead air ducts for the greater part of the century, now liberated by the gentle stroke of a feather brush. Like my snowflakes, the dust came shimmering down from above, no two particles alike. It appeared that Custodial Claus had brought me an early Christmas treat. I appreciate the gesture, but it was a gift I was just not prepared to accept, at least not until I scooted my chair from underneath the goddamn duct.

Just what I needed to make my Monday official… on the other hand, thanks for finally poking some holes on the lid of the shoebox you keep us in! Certainly I'll be able breath easier from now on, of course after I hack up all of that asbestos, rat feces, and dead skin cells from long-retired plastic makers of the past.