The Numbers Game -- Ode to A Happy Medium

When the reviewers are slow,
Our numbers dip low,
And the brass assumes it’s our fault.

When we drop 'neath average,
The reviewers think us savage,
Bringing our fun to a halt.

When the numbers are high,
Our brains do fry,
But ne'er do we gain exalt.

We must hold firm in the mean,
To keep them keen,
And show we’re worth our salt.

So when next Doug calls
To break our balls,

I'll need not fear
About my career,

and I'll continue to line my vault...